


break so beautiful

by CaptainOfRed



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin is a Good Master, Discussions of slavery, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Zygerrian Slave Arc, post-Zygerria
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:08:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23422207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainOfRed/pseuds/CaptainOfRed
Summary: In the aftermath of the Zygerria mission, Anakin and Ahsoka check in with each other.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 6
Kudos: 168





	break so beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> i just can't get enough of these two. as much as i love the clone wars, i think they miss an opportunity by not further exploring the relationships between the characters. so i wrote this to satisfy myself. 
> 
> disclaimer! i watched the zygerrian slave arc and it ripped my heart out but i could not for the life of me remember how long the arc actually is. are they in zygerria for a few days or a few weeks?? wookieepedia has no answers. idfk so i went with a handful of days, since that seemed most plausible. plz feel free to correct me. 
> 
> title from SYML's song "Wildfire"

The tile of the shower was cold against Anakin's forehead. He closed his eyes, listening to the water beat across his back.

Anakin hadn't been a slave in over a decade, but he hadn't forgotten the feeling. He figured he never would. The helplessness, the fear, the anticipation. The dull, single mindedness of each day. The tiny spark of defiance, always snuffed by the dangers of disobedience. The ensuing numbness. He'd seen that in the eyes of so many over the past few days. He'd stood free and arrogant above it all, flirting with the Zygerrian queen without a care in the world.

"Master?" Ahsoka's voice, muffled behind the door of the refresher, penetrated Anakin's troubled thoughts. "Are you okay? You've been in there a while."

Anakin felt a rush of fondness for his strong, resilient Padawan. He straightened and turned off the water with a twist of the Force. "Sorry, Snips. I'm fine. I'll be out in a sec."

Anakin continued to abuse the Force -- calling a towel to his fingertips, beckoning a comb to card through his dripping hair. He traded those for his spare robes, which flew into his arms without complaint. _Obi-Wan would be scandalized,_ he thought with a hint of amusement, before his stomach dropped. Feeling cold with guilt, Anakin dressed himself without the use of the Force.

He left the 'fresher feeling no more clean than before he had entered. Anakin glanced around his quarters for his Padawan, surprised when he didn't immediately find her. "'Soka?"

The knot of blankets on Anakin's bunk stirred and Ahsoka's lekku emerged. "Hey, Skyguy," she said with a sheepish wave.

Anakin crossed the room to join her, dropping to sit cross-legged on the bed. He searched the Force; Ahsoka's presence felt muted and murky. "You feel upset, Snips."

Ahsoka folded her legs beneath her, mirroring Anakin, and shoved a blanket in his direction. "Here." She was quiet as Anakin wrapped the blanket around his shoulders. Then she said, "The last few days have been a challenge."

Anakin raised an eyebrow at her understatement. "D'you wanna talk about it?"

Ahsoka folded her arms and raised her chin, fixing him with a stern glare. "Only if you talk about it too, Master."

Anakin sighed theatrically but couldn't keep himself from smiling. "Fine. But you first."

Ahsoka grinned with triumph. It quickly faded, though, and she began fiddling with the hem of her shirt. "Um, pretending to be a slave. _Your_ slave. It was... unpleasant."

Anakin nodded, staring at his hands, feeling the pin-pricks of shame. "I didn't like it, but it was for the sake of the mission." Ahsoka continued with a half-hearted shrug. "It's no different than the rest of this war."

"It's different." Anakin interrupted firmly. He tapped on Ahsoka's knee, drawing her eyes. "It's okay to dislike the orders we're given and the decisions we have to make. In fact," Anakin scowled, "I _encourage_ you to dislike them."

Ahsoka shifted uncomfortably. "But everything we do is for the Republic."

"We're fighting on the right side," Anakin agreed. "But that doesn't mean we should ignore the bad things that happen. If we do that -- if we follow orders blindly, never questioning -- then we're as bad as the droids."

"I guess you're right." Ahsoka said, looking back to her hands, clasped in her lap. She said, quieter, "Being in that cage was the worst part, though."

Anakin shifted forward, dragging Ahsoka into a hug. "I'm so sorry, Snips," he whispered.

"I was really lonely. It was scary, so high up." Ahsoka sniffled into Anakin's neck. Anakin stroked her back in a way he hoped was as soothing for togrutas as it was for humans. "I knew you were coming, but I also didn't. Y'know?"

"Yeah," Anakin nodded. He let out a shaky sigh, giving Ahsoka a gentle squeeze. "I should have done more, been faster. I'm so sorry, Ahsoka."

"Hey." Ahsoka chastised, pulling away. She glared at him with puffy eyes. "You were doing the best you could. I know it. You never do anything else."

"Thanks, Snips." Anakin offered her a watery smile. "I am _so_ proud of you, Padawan. Thank you for being so strong."

"Ah, geez," Ahsoka muttered, rolling her eyes good naturedly. But the happy flush in her cheeks assured Anakin it had been the right thing to say. "You gotta tell me what's troubling you, now, Master."

Anakin huffed, looking away. Anakin was always so weighed down by his emotions he found it difficult to articulate them. Now was no exception. "I…" He sighed and tried again. "I used to be a slave. I had to pretend to be a slave master. I didn't like it."

"It's okay to not like it. In fact, I encourage it."

Anakin grinned. "Someone smart must have told you that, Snips."

"He has his moments." Ahsoka returned with a smirk. "You didn't have to pretend for long, though," she prodded.

"Long enough." Anakin shuddered, unable to help himself. "And while I played _games_ with the queen, Obi-Wan was being tortured."

Ahsoka's expression drooped. "When I think about how horrible these past days have been for me, I remember that Master Obi-Wan's experience was even _worse."_

"Even so, that doesn't mean you don't have the right to be upset and hurting," Anakin reminded her. Then he snorted, rubbing a hand over his face. "I can't even take my own advice."

"You did the best you could." Ahsoka assured him again. "Have you talked to Master Obi-Wan? Is he okay?"

"He's certainly alive and back to cracking one-liners," Anakin replied wryly. "But we were never alone long enough for me to ask him if he was really alright. I know he's staying the night in the med wing. So's Rex."

Ahsoka hadn't known that; Anakin could see it in her wide eyes. "Were they injured?"

"Nothing severe. Bruises, malnutrition. It's mostly a formality." Anakin cringed with another wave of guilt. "I've barely even thought about Rex."

"Obi-Wan is your Master, it's natural you're extra worried about him," Ahsoka reasoned, brushing her hand against Anakin's knee. "Maybe you'd feel better if you went and talked to them."

It wasn't a bad idea. Anakin glanced over Ahsoka's shoulder at the clock. "I dunno. It's getting late," he murmured.

He looked back to his Padawan. She was picking at her clothes again, lower lip caught between her teeth. Anakin's brow furrowed, and he reached forward to pull her into another hug.

"Obi-Wan and Rex can manage without me. They don't need me prowling around, bothering the med-droids," Anakin said. He pressed a chaste kiss to Ahsoka's forehead. "You wanna sleep in here tonight? Obi-Wan won't be here to take the other bed, and we can grab your things from across the hall."

Anakin's neck felt wet where Ahsoka's face was pressed to it. She nodded and drew away, wiping at her eyes. "Thanks, Anakin," she whispered.

"Of course, my little Padawan." Anakin smiled at her, then pulled himself to his feet. "C'mon, I can't get all your stuff on my own."

"Don't you have this little thing called, I dunno, _the Force_ to help you?"

"I can't _believe_ you'd suggest such a misuse of the Force, Snips."

"You're one to talk, Skyguy."

**Author's Note:**

> i'm considering a part two ft. obi-wan because i love that mf and he needs a goddamn hug
> 
> thanks for reading! i thrive off of kudos and comments!


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